Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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