I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
