How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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