I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
