so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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