ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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