i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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