just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
