My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
