she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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