Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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