she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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