I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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