You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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