If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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