She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
