I'm really into asian looking animals
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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