whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
is wine microwaveable?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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