we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
