summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
