In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
