I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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