ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
