i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
