please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
