i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
