The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
