The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
