their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
