I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My ass is underappreciated
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
