It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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