Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
