Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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