So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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