We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
