Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
