This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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