I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
