Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
