i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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