Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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