Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
