i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
