Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
