hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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