Umm I'm too high to move.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
