You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
