dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
