I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
