playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
