i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
